Sermon from Sunday, February 9, 2025
The Rev. Megan Collins
We’ve been talking for these past several weeks about conflict in our sermon series Navigating Conflict with Grace. One of the things we’ve been looking at is how to minimize conflict in our lives - how to calm it down, how to de-escalate it, how to get it to go away or avoid it all together. A lot of us don’t like conflict. It makes us uncomfortable. It causes problems for us. When you think about what we should do as a Christian, we tend to believe that the Christian thing to do is to avoid conflict as much as possible.
Conflict is bad . . . . right?
Not always, at least not if we take the stories about Jesus seriously.
Jesus was actually in conflict alot. He had debates with the religious leaders. He had tense conversations with his disciples and other people who followed him. He didn’t shy away from challenging people. If Jesus had conflicts like these, then all conflict can’t be bad. Which leads me to wonder - what can make a conflict good? What is the difference between a conflict that we should avoid or try to calm down, and one that might have a purpose?
Today we’ll take a quick look at a few conflicts in Jesus’ life. These conflicts are with all kinds of different people. He had conflict with people who didn’t like him at all, with someone he hardly knew, and someone he was very close to. The conflicts are over lots of different things, some are personal, some are over broader issues. So what is the one thing that connects them all? What is it that makes them good conflicts? Let’s take a look.
In the gospel of Mark, there is this young man, and he approaches Jesus to ask a question:
‘Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: “You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honour your father and mother.” ’ He said to him, ‘Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.’ Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said,
Now stop here, because the story makes one thing clear. Whatever happens next, whatever Jesus says to him, it’s because of Jesus’ love for him. Then Jesus says this:
‘You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions. (Mark 10:17-22)
There is a conflict here to be sure. This was not an easy conversation. The man came looking for answers and Jesus had some hard words to say. But the text tells us that Jesus loved him. This is the main force that will define the conflict. It’s the one thing that will run through all the conflicts in Jesus’ life, love. Because of that love, the conflicts served a purpose.
The young man has come to ask Jesus about how he should live. Jesus loved him, and it was out of this love that he told him the truth. He knew what the man needed to do to really get what he was looking for, but the young man clearly did not like what Jesus was saying, so he left. What Jesus was asking him to do felt too hard. He wasn’t ready to be brave. He walked away. That’s not the only time Jesus would get into a back and forth with someone over the state of their heart. Look at Mark 8:31-33:
“Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.
Peter was a disciple, he was very close to Jesus. When he hears Jesus talk about his death, he pulls Jesus aside and the text says he “rebukes him.” Peter rebukes Jesus. I have to wonder if Peter regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Jesus has some strong words for Peter.
But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’”
This is a pretty serious conflict. But just like with the rich young ruler, Jesus’ words, even though they are strong, are said in the context of love. Jesus cares about Peter, and he knows that Peter can only see his fear, and his own concern, instead of what God is doing. Because he cares about him, he tells him.
Two conflicts. Two hard conversations.
In both stories we learn the same thing:
In times of conflict, love speaks truth.
Jesus says the hard thing that each of these men need to hear, because he loves them.
During conflict, love speaks truth to us. God loves you too much to not speak the truth to you, even if it’s hard. Sometimes that truth will be that you need to make a change. Sometimes that truth will be that you need to keep doing the hard thing, even if you are ready to give up. Sometimes the truth will point out something in your life you have been avoiding. God loves you too much to not show you the truth. Sometimes God will use the conflict in your life to speak to you, to get your attention. Love speaks truth, often hard truth, in times of conflict. When God speaks this way in your life, you’ll have a choice.
You can be like the rich young ruler, and walk away, or you can be like Peter.
Peter leaned in to what God was doing in his life (not immediately, but he got there over time) and he went on to become a leader in the church. The truth Jesus had for him in this conversation may have been the catalyst for him to set aside his fear and concern later and boldly follow Jesus. If you are in a conflict right now, take a step back and reflect:
Is this conflict with them being used to teach me something?
Is there a change I need to make in my life?
Is God showing me the truth about something in my heart?
Am I, like the rich young man, being asked to do something hard? Or do I have a blind spot?
Am I, like Peter, letting my fear hold me back?
Conflict can be good when it lets love speak hard truth into your life.
Jesus left a wake of conflict everywhere he went, because of what he said. But he also caused a good deal of conflict because of what he did. As time went on, these conflicts grew, and the people who didn’t like him started watching Jesus’ every move. They were looking for his motives, watching for his decisions.
No one is watching you as closely as the people you are in conflict with.
No one is more interested in what you will do next, what your motives might be, what decision you will make, than the people who are rooting against you.
But what if this isn’t a bad thing?
It seems no one was watching Jesus as closely as the Pharisees. They didn’t like him. They didn’t like what he taught. They really didn’t like what he was doing. They followed him around, antagonizing him, questioning him, watching his every move.
Then the Pharisees went and plotted to entrap him in what he said. (Matthew 22:15)
Jesus was going to the house of a leader of the Pharisees - they were watching him closely. (Luke 14:1)
Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him (Matthew 19:3).
The Pharisees began to be very hostile towards him and to cross-examine him about many things (Luke 11:53).
The Pharisees just couldn’t leave Jesus alone. . . . but Jesus didn’t lean away from this conflict with them. There was good to be found in this conflict too. Look at Mark 3:
“Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there who had a withered hand. They watched him to see whether he would cure him on the sabbath, so that they might accuse him. “
Here comes Jesus, and here come the Pharisees, watching him. They are hoping he will mess up this time. You aren’t allowed to heal on the sabbath. But Jesus seemed to always be helping people, he seemed to love doing the right thing, so what would he do? Would he break the sabbath law to help the person in need? Or ignore the man to keep the law?
“And he said to the man who had the withered hand, ‘Come forward.’ Then he said to them, ‘Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the sabbath, to save life or to kill?’
Notice Jesus pulls in the Pharisees here. He asks the question he knows they are wondering about. He lets the conflict simmer a bit.
“But they were silent. He looked around at them with anger; he was grieved at their hardness of heart “
The Pharisees aren’t interested in a discussion. It says they were silent. It also says Jesus was angry. That we understand. We’ve been angry at people. But that’s not all he is feeling. It also says “He was grieved at their hardness of heart.” The word for grief here in the Greek has this connotation of sharing in someone else’s sorrow. It implies compassion, even empathy. Jesus isn’t just angry at the Pharisees for their hardness toward the man with the withered hand. He is grieved. It’s Jesus' love again at the basis of this conflict. He has compassion not just for the man who needs physical healing, but the men who needed their hearts to be changed. The story continues:
“and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. The Pharisees went out and immediately conspired with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him.”
The Pharisees were always watching Jesus, they were always in conflict with him. He didn’t push them away, and he didn’t let their attention keep him from doing the right thing. Their conflict with Jesus gave them a front row seat to how he lived, perhaps it would even change their hearts. That’s what made the conflict good. It helped them see Jesus’ love.
Conflict in your life puts a spotlight on your actions. No one is watching what you do more closely than the people you are in conflict with, and conflict can show them who you are. Let’s hope when that happens, it shows your love.
Conflict can be good if it shows the people watching you the love of God in your life.
Conflict can be good if it demonstrates your love for the most vulnerable and marginalized.
Conflict can be good if you can be angry with someone, but also have compassion for those who need their hearts to change.
You will have conflict in your life. We all will. It’s not a question of if we will have conflict, but how we will handle it when we do. Even if we don’t like it, not all conflict is bad. In fact, when it’s rooted in love, it can be the very thing we need.
When we let Jesus in, it’s not just conflict. It becomes an opportunity for love to speak truth.
When we let Jesus in, it’s not just conflict. It becomes an opportunity for love to show us we are all capable of change.
When we let Jesus in, it’s not just conflict. It becomes an opportunity for love to grieve for hardened hearts.
When we let Jesus in, it’s not just conflict. It becomes an opportunity for love to do what is right.